a partial list of the unexpected benefits of having a baby

grooming:

Deodorant, brushing my teeth, shaving – these are now optional. I save them for special days when I want to look and feel my best. I think of stains and wrinkles as accessories, and match my outfits accordingly.

forgetfulness:

This blank check always comes in handy: “I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday!” “Oh yeah, I was supposed to edit those reports, wasn’t I?” “You know, I really meant to pay my taxes, it’s just that with this whole baby thing…”

self-consciousness:

I still probably worry too much about what other people think of me, but that doesn’t stop me from making animal noises or singing (I have a terrible voice) to my son when we’re out. A baby excuses virtually any public behavior.

sobriety:

I have never craved alcohol less – it’s like my body knows it can’t handle it. On the other hand, my caffeine intake has tripled. I’ve become a big fan of the Red Eye at Starbucks – an underrated, cheap and unlisted gem. Last week I had a twitch in my hand/forearm that went on for hours.

TV:

I used to feel guilty for watching nonsense on TV (instead of writing or making music), but when holding a baby, anything’s fair game. I watched so much of the Little League World Series that I actually considered betting on one of the games. Fortunately I didn’t, because those kids from Texas just showed no heart against Georgia.

three months

Almost overnight, Luca has come into his own. It could be the resolution of some feeding issues. Or it might be our implementation of a better sleep schedule (inspired by a book Julia read, which apparently claims that babies who don’t go to sleep before 8PM are more prone lower SAT scores, emotional instability and a fondness for the work of John Stamos). Or maybe it’s just that we passed the three-month hurdle. Regardless, Luca is suddenly a fairly content, very vocal and agile little guy.

At Luca’s doctor’s appointment yesterday (WARNING: GLOATING PARENT AHEAD) Julia was told that he looks and acts like a 5-6 month old. This was not too shocking, since his coordination and focus are pretty incredible – he can already turn from his stomach to his back and will pay attention to consecutive book-readings. What was surprising, though, is that he ranks in the 90th percentile (!) for height. Yes, my son might actually be tall. How can I not become an overbearing my-son-will-make-it-to-the-NBA-or-I’ll-die-trying-to-get-him-there dad at this point?

Being a parent pretty much shatters all standards and preconceived notions of what is and isn’t normal. It’s a welcome clean slate. I mean, when you’re dumbfounded by the intelligence of someone whose main goal in life is to put things (especially his fist) in his mouth, you’re basically looking at a whole new system of logic and meaning.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some shopping to do. Soon I will utter the phrase “I’d like to put that on my Babies R’ Us card” without any irony or sarcasm. O.K., maybe just a little.

more luca pics and an apology

Sorry this blog has been so neglected as of late. It's been a very hectic last couple of months. Expect a return to more frequent posting in the coming weeks as well as a complete site overhaul. For now, though, more baby pics: