Wednesday, October 31, 2007

if taglines were honest

iPod: It’ll break in a year, but by then you’ll want the new one.

Apple: You think you need it, we know you just want it.

Ikea: One day you’ll be able to afford real furniture.

Hummer: Get the attention you’ve always craved. While filling up the gas tank again.

Taco Bell: You’re drunk and we’re still open.

Zipcar: So convenient that you’ll ignore the high rates AND the dog hair.

Southwest Airlines: On your marks, get set, find a seat!

UHaul: We don’t guarantee availability because we can get away with it.

PopTarts: Until you realize how disgusting they are, we’ll keep making them.

Ben and Jerry’s: Whoah, dude, did you eat that whole thing?

Krispy Kreme: Less filling, just as fattening.

McDonalds: Always a good idea. Until afterwards.

Starbucks: Long lines, high prices and the best legal high available.


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76 Comments:

Blogger sonali said...

I love the IKEA one!

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Guz said...

Google: We just want to take over the world.

8:47 PM  
Blogger Prescott said...

That Ben & Jerry's tagline could totally fit into a campaign — they're daring enough of a brand to pull that off.

8:58 PM  
Blogger modmom said...

very clever!

11:34 PM  
Blogger noodle said...

OMG. Macdonalds and Apple so saw me coming a mile away…

3:21 AM  
Blogger Carmen Gabriel said...

The McDonalds one is fab...
I broke my "no major carbs past 5pm" rule the other day for a quarter-pounder meal and felt so bad for TWO DAYS! I had been craving it for about 2 days leading up to the meal...
Disgusting.
McDonalds is the devil. :-)

4:31 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

Cici's Pizza: Where everyone goes home happy if the bathroom is available.

Twitter: What are you doing? How about now? ...and now?

Facebook: A free social network. Now valued at $15 billion!

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Derek Burress said...

Wendy's tagline should be the same as Taco Bell. I think they stay open until like 3:00a.m.., on the weekends. The bars all close at 2:00a.m., so go figure!

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Tully said...

Too funny!

Facebook: Find all the people from your past you've been trying so very hard to forget.

Blogger: We know you're simple too.
Wordpress: We ain't Blogger.

TheWeatherNetwork.com: If we were actually right sometimes, you'd be paying for this service.

Google: Someday the rest of you will learn how to search.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous AdamF said...

USA- will the last one to leave please switch off the light!!!

10:15 AM  
Blogger Dan Robinson said...

At our local McDonalds one day, a visitor from Germany ordered a beer.

We all had a good laugh and the I explained that McDonalds doesn't sell beer in the U.S.

"That means you haff come for der food!" he said, laughing at us.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Evan said...

The Republican Party: We care about children. Until they're born.

1:42 PM  
Blogger gamewizard said...

TheWeatherNetwork.com: Any accurate weather forecast is purely coincidental...

8:01 AM  
Anonymous subcorpus said...

awesome read ... hehe ...
so true ...

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Loved the U Haul one.

Facebook - Finally speak to the hot chick you had a crush on in Grade 10!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Tony said...

Digg.com: You're not surfing the web on company time, you're "Buzz Monitoring".

9:57 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

MySpace-Lonely? Find your old high school GF and see if she wants to shag.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous jeremy said...

The Ikea one is 100% true, as my wife would say "We need adult furniture now".

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Kevin Chiu said...

Google: Are we a verb yet?

Flickr: Where people can steal your high quality photos, ignoring Creative Commons licenses!

Apple: Selling you a pretty PC for a pretty penny.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Democrats-- We care about people. Until they vote for us

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

E-Vite: When you care enough to do the very least.

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Isa (maria isabel) said...

I must say - it is hard to choose, wow. -- I love them. I am going to frame them some how at home. And how about proposing them for http://www.threadless.com/, I can do the design?
great.
Isa (Maria Isabel Gouverneur

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Rutherford said...

Speaking of New Jersey:
"we’re defined by our exits”

18 exits between where you started and where you want to go.

NJ, Tolls are Us

Pay the toll to leave, everyone does.

Or, as Robert Klein said— “150 miles of artificial fart.”

3:02 PM  
Blogger Irving said...

Windows: You'll buy our crap, because you've been doing it for years anyway.

3:56 PM  
Anonymous Tyler said...

The Republican Party: Family values before the bedroom door closes.

10:57 PM  
Anonymous brian said...

Microsoft: "hehehe... what? No, that wasn't an evil laugh."

12:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

USA:when the power of love is greater then the love of power...the world will know true peace

1:32 AM  
Anonymous kopieer said...

Google: I know what you did last summer!

6:52 AM  
Blogger Adam Banaszak said...

:) I'm soo gonna digg this :P great read

7:17 AM  
Blogger Brian said...

Verizon: Can you bill me now?

12:26 PM  
Blogger gina said...

Isn't it so true about Southwest Airlines?! How about creating a tag line for the lame service at United?

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Sergei said...

Really, really awesome! You are the best!

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

StumbleUpon: C'mon, one more time. You know you want to.

Youtube: Because you have nothing better to do.

Coca Cola-Enjoy...your trip to the dentist.

12:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This page would be better if it didn't have the Samsung line.

Samsung is a thousand times better than Sony.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Caleb said...

stumbleupon: making your bookmark list 50 miles long since 2004!

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Macdonalds - adapted from the "I'm loving it" tag:

Badabababaaaa I'm eating sh*t

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dick Cheney: Every step America takes makes me richer.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Exxon-Mobil: That's right, drop 'em and grab your ankles...

Fox News: You people are so stupid.

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

funny

www.damnsexygames.com

10:31 PM  
Blogger jbirdistheword said...

The U-haul tagline is SO true. I once reserved a truck 3 months in advance. They called me the day before i was supposed to move to tell me that it was my fault that they didn't have one for me.

10:35 PM  
Anonymous jj said...

republican party: anyone else find it ironic that we are against gay marriage?

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IPod and McDonalds... Loved them!
But then again, they are ALL excellent!

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Google: We're taking over the world. But not with an evil intent.

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Microsoft: Well fix it on the next release or service pack...

10:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

iphone: we could tell you to go ifuck your sister and you would still buy our product.

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agreed. Samsung > Sony.

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wordpress: Only 34 people will read what you have to say if you get Dugg anyways.

11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AT&T: You need us so we'll charge you twice what Bellsouth did.

11:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fox News : Right!

12:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea... That Sony line ruined this..

Only good thing sony ever made was the PS2.

12:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Digg.com: You can do your work later anyway.

12:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TimeWarner: What?! u want cable...go fuck yoourself and read a book for two weeks and well be there when we feel like it.

12:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nokia thousand times better than Samsung

12:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WONDERFUL! TOO FUNNY!

12:28 AM  
Blogger don_veto said...

iPhone: It sucks, but it is from Apple.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous keith said...

myspace: the more friends you have, the more we know you don't have any.

12:46 AM  
Anonymous Dave said...

Diebold- Push our shiny buttons of democracy. We'll take care of the rest.

1:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BellSouth: Yea, we charged less, but our business failed.

2:32 AM  
Anonymous AKIRA20010 said...

DIGG-404 SERVER ERROR

3:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apple: Shit wrapped up pretty with a bow on top.

5:14 AM  
Anonymous 小乖 said...

I love the McDonalds one :)

6:36 AM  
Blogger Guidouil said...

Air France : Where do you want your Strike today ?

7:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great one. Perhaps you should compile all of these into a change this type manifesto.
Wal-Mart : Save Money, so our executives can live better!
China : Our toys will destroy your generation, so we can take over your country in future easily.
Microsoft : We make all what Google, Apple and Yahoo make. This identity crisis makes us suck!
Exxon : Keep buying Hummers!

8:42 AM  
Anonymous free ipod touch said...

Haha, nice ideas!

- free ipod touch

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know why anyone would "accidentally" buy panasonic instead of sony. These days Sony's standards are below par (I work in electricals) and panasonic better them in most markets and for a better price too. Panasonic Plasma vs Sony LCD? No question. The only thing Sony still do well, is Cameras. But hideously overpriced.

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Google: Your information in our hands.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wal Mart... The "only" place to shop.

Target... The only place to shop if you don't like Wal Mart.

Kmart... The only place to shop if there's no Wal Mart or Target within a 50 mile radius of where you live.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Photobucket... where teenage girls post provocative pictures of themselves and are shocked when they somehow get out...

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liberals - so open-minded that the brains have fallen out.

Democrates - because winning the wars is SO overrated

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Apple said...

hey, you did me twice!

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apple: stealing others technology and dipping it in glitter since 1976

3:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Comcast: Customer Service is sooooo last decade.

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Myspace: "Where the guys are guys, the girls are guys, and the kids are cops"
Oh how how i did laugh when i heard that one.

4:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the ipod breaking in a year one, I've had my nano for a few years. One time I was riding my bike while listening to it, and I dropped it onto the road, then ran over it with my back tire. Still works great.

6:05 PM  
Anonymous luix said...

windows vista: are you crazy?

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

DELL- create the perfect PC and we'll try to send it to you the same way..

1:10 PM  

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