getting there

What a blur life has become. Was it only three days ago that we marveled at the fantastic Italian food my friend and co-worker’s husband cooked for us (not to mention their trilingual two and a half year old)? And laying flat on my stomach and cleaning up decades of filth under our claw-footed bathtub, my forehead mashed under the toilet and feet out the door and into the hall – that was yesterday, right? Yes, it was today that I lead a client presentation and, despite stammering my way through the beginning (still working on that whole “speaking in front of groups of people” thing), had the sudden realization that I was sitting in a room with seven other people (of varying degrees of importance and experience), discussing a concept I was largely responsible for creating.

Julia (37.5 weeks pregnant) and I met my father (in town for the day) and sister for an early dinner tonight, but I had a hard time relaxing enough to focus on the conversation. The seemingly never-ending apartment prep, guilt over the backlog of neglected friends and general “oh-my-god-we’re-really-having-a-child” stress of the last few weeks has reached a fever pitch. I suppose many expectant parents have to let go of unrealistic pre-baby goals, but at this point I’d settle for one night of live music and a couple of runs across the Brooklyn bridge and back at dusk. Probably should throw a trip to the chiropractor for that bad shoulder in there, too.

After putting my father (yet another person we won’t see again until we are three) in a cab, we hopped into one of our own and headed back to Brooklyn. Driving down Hudson and into the Village with the windows down, the air was the perfect temperature. As unknown and inviting restaurants and boutiques flew by, I felt that perfect and fleeting blend of possibility and fascination.

I used to feel like I could never quite get the right experience out of New York – a restlessness that made much of the last few years frustrating, but drove me to where I am now. Even though life as I know it is about to be shattered, even though every time my phone rings it really could be wife going into labor, even though I didn’t finish that first draft of my book, for a moment tonight I caught my breath and took the city in and things were O.K.