a list of fake scientific facts I made up that sound true if read in an authoritative voice

• Seven percent of human beings are allergic to water.
• One of your kidneys is at least four times the size of the other.
• Three percent of all butterflies become caterpillars again.
• The occurrence of hydroplaning has never been successfully scientifically proven.
• Pigeons score higher than dolphins on virtually every aptitude and intelligence test.
• Left-handed people cannot distinguish between lavender and purple.
• There are ten times the amount of germs on a clean fork than there are on the average penny.
• More people die from choking on gumballs than car accidents.
• One third of all lactose intolerant people experience the condition psychosomatically.
• While in heat, female crickets can hear for a three mile radius.