tv

Last night Julia and I watched the first two episodes of HBO’s Big Love, which shows definite potential. Since Julia still refuses to get cable, which is probably more of a good than a bad thing, we are about six months behind the rest of the country in all of our shows. Julia has already plowed through every series at our local DVD store (one third of whose profits come from our late fees) and now relies solely on bootleg craigslist dealers who, like any good pusher, always manage to get us to buy in large quantity. Every now and then a suspicious package arrives containing nothing but a pile of crudely marked discs, which can only be viewed through some obscure media player, and Julia’s eyes get big and dreamy.

Our less-than-basic TV package offers all the networks, plus TBS, Spike TV (where I get my UFC fix) and several BCAT channels. For those not in the know, BCAT stands for Brooklyn Cable Access Television and features quality programming like footage from local strip clubs, groups of West Indian children dancing at talent shows and assorted drug-inspired DIY insanity. Once I watched a show that was nothing but footage of subway trains entering and exiting stations. It was either that or CSI, which is always on at least one channel.

As much as I’d prefer to have cable, there is nothing quite like having multiple episodes of a show in your possession at one time. I find that this works best for 24 (due to the whole “real time” thing), which happens to be my favorite series still running. I’m well aware that I could be watching the current season of 24 on Fox, but I’d rather wait and watch it on my terms – no commercials and in multiple episode blocks. Much like Jack Bauer, I like to be in control. With all due respect, no one tells me to wait a week between episodes. We don’t have that kind of time here! YOU’VE GOT TO TRUST ME! YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE!!!

We watched the first three seasons of 24 in a month, which had less of an effect on Julia, who works from home, but sent me into the city a little too riled up every day. On the subway I was always trying to figure out who had the bomb, and I developed a crippling fear of unmarked white vans. A friend of my brother's watched the ENTIRE first season of 24 in one sitting. I feel the same way about him that I do about Barry Bonds: regardless of what substances were involved, you've got to respect that kind of accomplishment.

A few months from now, Julia will forward me an email with the subject line “OH MY GOD BUY THIS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!” containing an offer for season five of 24, season four of The West Wing, back episodes of ER and interviews with the cast of Deadwood, all for $45. My fingers will tremble with anticipation as I log into PayPal and send the money.